


Rain

by cloud_nerd



Category: Game Grumps
Genre: Arin is a friend, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, dan is sad, i dont know, just read it, mostly focused on Dan's thoughts, platonic egobang
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-31
Updated: 2016-07-31
Packaged: 2018-07-28 11:20:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,962
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7638106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cloud_nerd/pseuds/cloud_nerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>It's raining and Dan can't stand staying inside any longer. He goes for a walk to get his mind off of things but it didn't really work. Arin knew something was up and texted him. When Dan didn't respond, he went to look for his friend.</p>
<p>Basically Dan having one of his bad days and Arin comforting him.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rain

*Dan's POV*

I looked out the window. Big heavy droplets of rain were falling in a steady pattern against the glass. The amount making it impossible to see anything other than a blur. I sighed, _I needed to get out of here. This room was making me feel trapped._ I slipped on an oversized hoodie, not bothering with a jacked, it would be soaked soon enough anyway. I put the hood over my head and stepped out the door. Outside the only thing that could be heard was the water hitting the pavement. It had rained for a few days straight now, barely stopped. I didn’t necessarily hate it, in fact I loved it, but it made it hard for me to stay concentrated. My thoughts continuously drifted off to the weather, the people who hurried to get somewhere dry and warm. Since I’ve been a little kid, I liked the rain and how it always calmed me down. I liked how clean the earth was after it stopped. Or how no one is outside and you’re alone, not having to care about others.  
I let my feet guide me. I knew the city like the back of my hand. Knew every street, every ally, every park. So I wasn’t afraid I’d get lost. After only a few minutes the rain had drenched my clothes and I could feel the water on my skin. I kept my head low, eyes focused on the floor. Whenever I passed a puddle I stared at the reflection on them. Sometimes it showed my face, other times just the dark grey clouds. As a kid, I always thought puddles were a way into an alternative reality. That only a thin layer of glass would keep those two worlds apart. I used to try and break that barrier, needless to say it never worked. Even now I started to imagine, if that would be true, how that world would look like. Who would I be? How would my life be? Better? Worse? The same? Would my friends be the same? In what way would they be different? I didn’t know.  
My phone vibrated, I got a text message. It’s from Arin asking me how I was. He knew something was up. He always does. I didn’t reply, thinking it would be to difficult to explain. Because truth is I wasn’t sure. I felt a lot of things. Sadness. Guilt. Disappointment. Anger. Happiness. I felt everything and nothing at the same time. It was confusing.  
I buried my hands together with my phone back in my pockets and kept on walking. Looking up I noticed where I was. Not too far away was a beautiful park, probably empty now. My muscles were stiff from the cold that crept through my skin down to my bones. Still I forced my body to move towards it.  
As I reached the entrance the wind started to pick up, blowing the hood off my head. In a matter of seconds my usually fluffy hair was soaked and flat. Drops of water running down my face and back. The good thing about that was that no one could tell if I was crying because I could already feel the pressure in my throat and the burning in my eyes. Yet no tears came.  
I got another text. This time it read ‘where are you?’. I ignored it again. I knew that only made him worry more, but I just couldn’t answer right now.  
I didn’t pay attention to the path and was surprised when I found myself in front of the old swing where I used to play as a kid. Now whenever I’m here, it’s mostly when I need space to think and life was getting too much. I guess it had to be obvious for me to end up here.  
I sat down and swayed slightly back and forth. Since it was raining so hard and literally no human soul was outside except for me, I didn’t have to worry about how weird it might have looked. A grown man sitting on a swing while it was pouring down.  
My phone vibrated again. I didn’t even look at it.  
My mind started to wander which was never the best thing, but I couldn’t gather the strength to stop.  
 _What the hell was going on? Was I good enough? What was wrong with me? I don’t have any reason whatsoever to be crying. I have a great life! You don’t even know why you’re sad! There’s no reason for you to act like this. Why can’t I deal with my feelings properly? Why do I always seem to do the wrong thing? Who’d actually care if I just disappeared?_  
I wanted to scream out of frustration but not a single sound left my lips. A few stray tears were rolling down my cheek, mixing together with the rain. My throat closed up, making my breathing fast and shallow. My body started to shake and my hands were clutching the rope that kept the swing up. Knuckles were turning white.  
Now that I wasn’t moving anymore the cold was even more evident. My teeth clattered together, muffling the sound of the falling rain.  
I took my phone out with shaking fingers to check the time and saw I had quite a few missed text messages and two missed calls from Arin.  
“Dammit”, I mumbled. _You really do always fuck up, don’t you?_  
“Yeah, you should’ve answered me, you know. That’s rude.”, said a voice behind me. I flinched. My phone slipped through my wet fingers and dropped on the ground. The person behind me chuckled. I didn’t have to look to know who it was. I could recognize that voice everywhere. That didn’t mean I felt better though. Almost the complete opposite. It made me feel worse. _You made him come outside, search for you, even though you knew exactly that he disliked the rain._  
 _He’s probably the only person who would come and look for me though. Presumably also the only one who would know where I am._  
I picked my phone up but didn’t put it away. Instead I twirled it between my fingers.  
“How long have you been out here?” I shrugged. I had no idea but considering my cold body, it’s been a while.  
“Come on, let’s go home.” Arin laid a hand on my shoulder. The warmth contradicting to my ice cold skin. I weakly nodded. _Do I have another choice?_ I stood up and we started to make our way back. I still haven’t said a word. My mind was all over the place and I was shivering non stop. Wordlessly he put his jacket over my shoulders. I clutched it thightly, desperate for the heat it’s radiating. He had an umbrella to shield him from the falling rain.  
“…nk you” My voice was quiet, barely audible over the other noises. _Fucking hell, you can’t even get a simple sentence like Thank you right? Pathetic!_  I scolded myself mentally.  
After that we walked silently next to each other. My head hung low. _Why was he so nice to me? Shouldn’t he be yelling at me for being so stupid and running off into the rain like that?_  
“Sooo, you want to tell me what’s going on?” asked Arin. _Yeah I do, really. But how? How do I start? Fuck, why is this so hard? Get your shit together!_  
“I…I feel like… I dunno… I fail at basics things…?” It sounded more like a question than an answer. _Well done, now he knows exactly what you mean._  
“I’m sorry… I just… don’t feel that well…”  
“Yeah, I noticed that much.” He noted. _Oh..._ And although he didn’t mean it like that, it felt like a slap in the face. _You’re so bad at faking shit. At least put on a smile._  
I didn’t know how to respond to that so I just stayed quiet. _Stop fucking around and just tell him everything. You can see how worried he is._  I opened my mouth to say something but somehow my tonged didn’t responded to my commands. I gritted my teeth. _Useless human._ I hated the silence that ended up between us just because I wasn’t able to speak up. It was unbearable for me. So to distract myself from the uncomfortable feeling I looked around. I realized that we were only a few hundred meters away from my home.  
“Why are we going home to me?” I asked quietly.  
“Well, you need to warm up and have a shower. So I thought it would be better if we went to yours instead of mine.”  
“Oh okay.” I responded quietly.  
When we reached my front door, I unlocked it and let him go in first. I hung his jacked up so it could dry and took of my shoes and socks. Arin copied my actions.  
“Go take a shower now.” He ordered.  
“But what about-“ I tried to protest but he interrupted me.  
“I’ll wait. There’s the internet to keep me company if I’d get bored.” Nodding I turned around and climbed up the stairs. In my room I took out a dry hoodie and some comfy sweatpants.  
“Just… make yourself at home, I guess.” I gestured with my hand towards my bed.  
Once I closed to bathroom door I let out a breath. Discarding myself of my drenched clothes, which was quite a work out because they stuck to my body like a second skin, I stepped into the shower. As soon as the hot water hit my frozen skin, my tensed up muscles relaxed. I let out a contented sigh. It took me longer than usual to wash myself but when I finished I felt a little better and smelled of coconut.  
That satisfied feeling left pretty fast when I got dragged back into reality. Cold fingers slid around my chest and pressing my lungs together. _Here we go again._  I slowly dried myself and then slipped the clothes on. I towel-dried my hair. When I looked in the mirror I snorted. I was a mess. Eyes glassy and red, hair sticking up in every possible direction. I tried to make it at least presentable by running my hand through it. _That will have to do._  I threw the old clothes into the laundry basked and walked toward my room. When I entered and saw Arin, a small smile sneaked on my face. He was laying on his back on my bed and was scrolling aimlessly through his phone, music softly playing in the background.  
“I see you’ve found a way to pass time.” I said as I laid down myself. He shuffled a bit to give me more space.  
As we were both staring up at my ceiling I tried to work out how to talk to him.  
“You don’t have to hide from me, you know. You don’t have to keep everything bottled up inside you.” Arin pointed out.  
“… I know.” I mumbled. _Doesn’t make it any easier to say it out loud though._  
“There are some things I haven’t told you yet, just because I don’t know _how_.”  
“Take all the time you need, I wont walk away.” Again there was silence between us. This time it wasn’t as bad, I didn’t mind it as much as before. I closed my eyes. Surprisingly I felt a lot better already. After a while when I almost drifted off to sleep because I was so exhausted, I thought I might should say something more.  
“…I’m sorry for not answering your texts… or calls… and thank you. Really. For coming after me, giving me your jacket, talking to me, just being here. I really appreciate it.”  
“Always.”


End file.
